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Feeling of being human

Published by
boris kislitsin
 in void space. 2 Comments

In 1687 Sir Isaac Newton published Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, which laid the foundation of determinism. Through Newton’s ideas in what we call now the Age of Reason, rose the idea of ”clockwork universe”, generally stating that by measuring things as they are, we can accurately explain all the Nature’s phenomenae and predict the future using the laws of science.

 One probably could wonder, what does Newton’s work has to do with my memories. Though I haven’t read the original and was born nearly 300 years later, it had a certain impact on me. As a matter of fact, we perceive reality and interpret it through the prism of our cultural and educational background. It’s never “as it is”, but as worthy as it’s description. My father was a strong believer in science, and wanted me to be a mathematician, a kind of a weird wish keeping in mind he was a poet himself. I remember him trying to come up with a precise word, which could describe what he felt at the moment best. He often felt stressed about it as  he couldn’t. I guess he thought it is easier to operate with numbers rather than words. I remember refusing going to my 1st grade in school: I demanded science. I wanted to study physics and maths, I wanted to understand the mechanics of existence. That’s why my parents have sent me to a school with advanced maths and science programs,  and determinism was what they taught in school too.

My belief in numbers was ruined after I’ve read at the age of 12 some popular books on astronomy and quantum mechanics: it turned out that, with the course of time any system behaviour starts to “fluctuate” and become disordered, behaving randomly. Even orbits of planets, massive bodies, never quite follow the same path. We live in a universe which is rather chaotic, then orderly. Our brain waves,  or the pattern of it’s electric impulses, is also being chaotic. This could be the origin of consciousness , free will and creativity. Our mind is ruled rather by Chaos, then Order. Continue reading ‘Feeling of being human’

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Memory by post?

Published by
boris kislitsin
 in memory. 0 Comments

The title of this post is what it is exactly: my lost memory returned to me by post .

It’s a weird feeling, you know. A while ago I’ve read somewhere about one research on human conscioussnes. They tried to locate our memories in brain. Where do we store memories exactly?

So they selected different people. Their brains were severely damaged, but all of them had memories. Some of the patients went through really freaky accidents, with massive parts of brains amputated or missing as the result.

So they started to exclude suspected parts of our brain in charge of the memories one by one …

OK, it’s not here…It’s missing in this case…and not there either…

Skipping the details, though they had hundreds of cases covering all the possible kinds of damage few times over, they couldn’t locate it precisely.

Apparently our brain stores information as a hologram; even if a part of it damaged, the rest can make up for it.

Some scientists even came to the conclusion that our memories are stored outside of our brains; we can just tap in into that field of global consciousness (something pulsing, fluctuating, shiny and shapeless as I imagine it) and get from there what we need. The electric impulses of our brains are tuned differently, and in accordance with our individual frequencies we pick data produced by us in the past. That could be also an explanation of how some people can read past and memories of other people…

Anyway, it’s a fascinating topic. I don’t have a clue there my memories are; its like seeing the world through a looking glass: small things become big, and big things get lost.

I wrote to a friend of mine a while ago about this idea of storing dreams and memories; he forwarded me back my letter to him sent some years ago.That’s funny, as I completely forgot about these things. Unfortunatelly it’s in Russian though typed in latin letters…well, you can skip it, if you can’t read it. Sorry about that.

Continue reading ‘Memory by post?’

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Life as a necklace

Published by
boris kislitsin
 in memory. 0 Comments

This is what probably happens with all new cyberadventures. People don’t know what to expect. They wait. They want to see content. We started this project because we wanted to see it too; but the work is still in progress, as we have zillion ideas on how to improve but very little particle practical knowledge.

I’m very excited, though for last few weeks hardly had time to write anything myself, being busy trying to understand, as they put it on WordPress site, the poetry of code.

The binary wisdom of humankind poem.

The rhytm of commands.

The chorus of links.

Anyway, I think our memories like anchors or rather beams in the ocean of consciousnes. We measure our lives in memories, not in years. Trying to figure out what did actually, happenned to me in year 2000 starts from one of them, the memory of the very millenium night. 

This moment became a string on which I started to put my memories anew; a day by day, a month by month, and now a year by year.

 Let’s hold one bead of my life’ necklace a time.

Reset. I remember myself sitting on a plastic chair, which I borrowed from the place there I was purchaising local port wine for the last couple of weeks. The place was facing ocean. It was rising. It already scared away a beach party and was slowly advancing towards little row of bungalos. The water was very shallow, so I made myself comfortable quite away from the beach. I sat with my feet dipping in the Indian ocean. Chair legs were slowly sinking into muddy sand. Soon I found myself up to my chest in the water; it didn’t matter. The water was warm and gentle. I could figure out far away silhouettes of ships, above which a pride of  clouds raced south through bright pink sky. The sound of waves wrapping around. Behind was scattered laugther, and klingklung of forks and knives over the plates, and dinner talk, a trance track playing from the open window and dyiung in a distance motorcycle roar. A picture of a perfect peace. The sun set qucikly, but after it was gone behind the  horizon, I still could see for a few minutes, which felt like few eternities, the last ray of our nearest star balancing on the surface of water of the new millenia.

It was a great moment. Everything from that point somehow started to be different. Thinking about it still puts a smile on my face.

Boris Kislitsin

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