Tag Archive for 'hitchhiking'

Planting fake memories in permafrost of my brain

Do you remember that old movie “Total recall” with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Thinking about self-hypnosis and our abilities to induce memories, I decided to “create” fake memories inside my head. If you ask me why, I would tell you, probably just for fun. Actually, I believe our memories are mapped. None of them exists on its own, but rather refer to each other and interlinked with each other… our brain representing a big search engine, kind of biochemical based Google employing a random search. Try to refer to any memory you have: to make things easier, strong memory, or a memory of big importance for you.

An example. I have a memory of trying to climb up Everest.  It’s not the case of being megalomaniac, but rather accidentally. As long as I was there, you know.  I actually posted this memory here, on September 11th… :) , … nope, the date is just a coincidence. This memory opens up like a Russian matreshka doll: containing yet another one nested inside another etc. Thinking about that day brings back other memories: of finding a fossil near Milarepa’s cave, of fluorescent dog, of friendship, of moments while waiting for our friend we collected some stones and arranged them into a message “FREE TIBET”, of dying from thirst and cold. Whatever. This memory is also nested in others: of my long journey across Siberian plains, Mongolia, China, Nepal and India, of places I visited and people I met etc. OK, you have the picture.

Now imagine, you plant a fake memory inside your brain. Something completely out of sane mind and context, like planting a rare orchid somewhere in Siberian permafrost. If it will live, your brain would have to rewire it with some other facts, blending “reality” and “imagination”. So, what I’m interested in, is this “shadow zone”, border area in between, this vegetation between orchid and permafrost which my brain has to create to “index” this fake memory.

To make things even more interesting, I decided to experiment with planting fake memories in different contexts. For instance, I always wanted to visit Peru. So I thought  about planting a fake memory of this trip. But this task is way too grand, and the real trip would have too many details, so probably I wouldn’t succeed. Nevermind. I am writing a story at the moment. The best and easiest way to write is to write about something you know. It also gives the story some credibility, and makes it more captivating to read.

This story plot, to put it short,  goes partly in the future-past loop excluding present, partly in the parallel universes and most of it inside the black hole , with 3 main characters - creators of those parallel universes embedded without their acknowledgement in the mind of one character, whose consciousness is being badly split in 3 parts, meaning he is a schizophrenic (schizophrenia, actually literally means “split mind”, schizos phrenos in Greek, if I’m not mistaken). Moreover, these multiple “fake personalities” are being split in their own turn, forking further as the story develops… so it’s a kind of fractal consciousness in senses of being fractal and being fractured.

Continue reading ‘Planting fake memories in permafrost of my brain’

Other posts by boris kislitsin

When I got kidnapped hitchhiking to school

It was a day, that started out like many others that year. I got up, got ready for school and left my house. I walked the two blocks to the intersection of Chilliwack Central and Broadyway under an overcast sky. Stood across from highroad academy with my thumb out, waiting for a ride to Agassiz. I was shortly picked up by a skinny gangly man in a small red pick up truck. He seemed friendly eneugh, although he kept trying to get me to skip school to help him move pot plants, for 100 bucks. He also started smoking crack shortly after i got in. We chatted pleasantly eneugh as he drove towards agassiz, although he tried to offer me a hoot of crack. Everything seemed to be going well until he flew past the exit into agassiz, which i promptly pointed out to him. “your not going to school today” he answered, emphasizing his point with the gun, that was now in his hand. I can honestly say, this was the first time in my life that i actually wanted to go to school. It was also the first time i’d had a gun aimed at me. In less that a second i was more than frightened, i was terrified. I immediately began begging for my life. I tried everything i could think of, That i had a test, that id be expelled for skipping, even that i had a date at lunch. All false and all to no avail. I continued on like this for 15-20 minutes or so, until i realised it wasnt helping. With that realisation came another, that this could be the last day of my life. In that moment something inside me died, it felt like a candle being snuffed out in my chest. This is a moment ill remember the rest of my life. In that one instant i changed, all at once i grew up, like a butterfly leaving a cocoon. Continue reading ‘When I got kidnapped hitchhiking to school’

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