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My life as a tiger

Published by
boris kislitsin
 in memory. 5 Comments

Once there was a Bengal tiger in Russian zoo. It was born and spent most of his life in a small cage. He had just enough space to make a couple of steps, jump, make a couple of steps and jump again. Then the tiger had to turn around and repeat the same routine in opposite direction. I have read somewhere that usually in wild a grown up tiger needs something like 16 to 20 sq.km of habitat, otherwise it get stressed. I wonder how much space a human being needs. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, that particular tiger lived in a cage the size of 16 or 20 sq.m, and, obviously, was very stressed. When such an animal as tiger get stressed, it feels uneasy, and can’t rest. That tiger was restless. All it did from dusk till down is pacing the cage. 2 steps, jump, 2 more steps, another jump, turn, 2 steps, jump, 2 more steps, jump, turn around, 2 steps, jump… You have the picture. Naturally, tiger’s living conditions had to be improved. The story goes in the time just after the collapse of the Soviet Union and total collapse of everything on the 1/8th of planet’s landmass, circa middle 1990’s. As it happens in times like this, some people used the situation to the full, and made crazy fortunes. If you ever tried to get from 0 to 100 in just above 3 sec., let’s say on a powerful motobike, you can figure out how it is. Somebody, let’s call him Mr.S., made it from living in a shared with few our families run down apartment in sleepy suburbs to amassing a fortune Imelda Markos could only dream of, comparing to each a budget of a middle size African country is just a pocket money, in a couple of years time. So one day this Mr.S. visited zoo by chance. He spent a good deal of time in front of this cage with Bengal tiger, watching it moves. Maybe he was in nostalgic mood, maybe this cage reminded him the apartment he grown up in, or probably deep down he was a very sensitive person. Some say he was bored, some he was drunk. Whatever the reason, Mr.S. was touched. He went to the zoo director straight away, and asked him, how much money zoo needs to improve tiger’s living conditions. I know this story from the first hands, as a friend of mine, non compromise poet and alcoholic, worked there as a zookeeper, as it was one of very few jobs he could fit himself in. Next day the construction has begun, and soon everything was ready for the grand opening. They set an artificial landscape, so tiger could have a little lake to bath, a cave for him to hide and a little forest resembling jungle; that small provincial zoo somethat tripled in size. In attendance of TV crew, press and Mr.S., they brought in crane and lifted the cage.

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History repeats itself; memory never does

Published by
boris kislitsin
 in memory. 2 Comments
When the Emperor Charlemagne came into the country of the East Saxons and asked them whom they worshipped they replied, “Krodo is our god;” to which the Emperor replied “Krodo is all the same as Kroten-duvel!” “And he made them pay bitterly by the sword and the rope for the crime of calling God, according to their language, by a name different from that which he used; for he put many thousands of them to death, like King Olof of Norway, to show that his faith was one of meekness and mercy.

A friend of mine just came from Cambodia, he was talking in great lengths about fields of death there, heritage of khmer rouges, or Red Khmers. In a span of 20 years something like a quarter of population was wiped out. A field of death is a grave, there hundreds or thousands of people sometimes put together, by hands or with a help of bulldozer. It reminded me unexpectedly a movie I saw recently, Get Smart, in which Maxwell Smart, who is a secret agent for the US agency called CONTROL (whose nemesis organization is called KAOS - which they say like the word ‘chaos’), says: “We have to shoot and kill and destroy. We represent everything good and wholesome in the world.”

History repeats itself, otherwise it wouldn’t be called history. Continue reading ‘History repeats itself; memory never does’

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Getting outta here

Published by
boris kislitsin
 in dream. 0 Comments

Conducting my research for a story I finally set my mind to write, I came across these 2 statements:

1) scientists believe human brain is likely to be most complex object nature created within the Solar system

2) the very probability of life, keeping in mind endless ifs of  our mundane existence in the Universe is nothing short of miraculous, well below 0,00000000001%. (Let’s leave alone question how we can evaluate the probability of these events, especially when we discuss complex systems and probabilities on such a scale: the age of Universe is currently being estimated at 13.7 billion years +/-200 million years and size is as  3.56×1080 cubic meters).

Of course, downscaling the case, on the top where are some other probabilities, e.g. one chance in probably few hundred thousand my parents would meet and got married;  assuming they were capable of conceiving me, my being is the result of the union of one of few million sperms with particular ovum out of a few hundreds, etc…

There are, of course, endless probabilities exist even now, as they do at any given moment: that Internet will be created, this memories-dreams bank of whatever called Memorycemetery will be set, that you will find out about it, and will read this post, and will think: what the heck?! Continue reading ‘Getting outta here’

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Dreams and the game theory

Published by
boris kislitsin
 in dream. 4 Comments

A friend of mine put a cross on me, it looks like. She says, I am into post-religious spiritualism, referring to Memorycemetery concept. I can accept that. Some people called me worse words. Frankly speaking, I was always being suspicious in regard of everything starting from “post”, as of something second hand, or with warning: “Danger! Badly digested concepts attached!”. Nevertheless, as there’s no pleasure whatsoever in pointless arguing, I will take it on the basis that awakening of post-religious spiritualism requires evolution of our consciousness. Self-satisfaction is the only wisdom of our days…  :)

“God doesn’t play dice”, quoted she A.Einstein’s words. If so, let’s consider these words from my freshly acquired position of post-religious spiritualist:

 If God does not play dice, shall I accept Him/Her/It as the Savour?

I do not want to be saved by a superpower. If I want to be saved (from what?: from myself, of course), I want to be saved by a miracle. This statement probably pushes me even further into cultural margins, if not beyond. So what? It could be nice to fuck off the public value, as another friend of mine said on a different occasion. He studies economics. He told me what the post-industrial economics requires developed tools of post-industrial mathematics and vice versa. Like, for example, developing of the game theory had a certain impact on a stock market and the stock market acquired those ideas for further advance. This year’s Noble prize in economics given to this theory developers is the proof. My interest in economics though is somewhat on micro-level: how to survive from one salary to another one? How can I pay off my debts? So before we sunk deeper in such gory subjects, I would like to turn my attention to somewhere else. Let’s say, if games theory can describe behaviour of very complex and rather chaotic systems, what impact does it have on God? Or, down to more practical matters, on my dreams?

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