Tag Archive for 'absolute'

Absolute Formula

Maybe it all happens because I leave things unfinished, in the middle. My interest wonders from subject to subject, as a lost cow wonders between trees of a small forest. A bit of grass here, a bit there. I really started to understand with the course of time how concentration is important.

Unfortunetaly, things like this you recognize also with the course of time; so life in a way is a race between our physical and virtual time, race with no winners in my case. Getting older means to drop attachment first to things, and then to friends and places, which are also friends in their own right: my best friend so far was Babylondon.

Learning it’s streets was like learning a woman. London as a big mixed race Lilith: love from the first sight.

Now imagine leaving your love behind.

There are other ways to understand what you become older. Looking in the mirror or at the old photos should be most obvious one. It doesn’t work well with me: I look in the mirror and don’t recall myself anymore. Every time I look at photos, I see a frozen reflection of another person.

I understand what I’m getting older by little things: most tracks and albums I have became a bit dated. Two teeth are missing there was one. I feel like I saw everything billion times and lived for billions years. 6.523.647 or 6.523.652 do not make big difference. At dentist’s yesterday it took me some time to calculate: 2007AD minus 1975AD. Tell me quickly, how much is it. He asked me 3 more questions: 1.How long do you want to stay in Thaland?/I don’t know. 2.Does it depend on job?/No, on feelings. …5 minutes later: 3.Why are you smiling?(while trying hard to pull out my tooth)/No response : )

It’s easier to get lost in the trees too.I think I’m in the beginning of the next step. Losing attachment to myself. Loosing Myself. I half anticipated yet another thing unfinished: this post, but I changed tracks. “Moon over Tokyo” (Japanese Folk) calls back to the concentration.

 Concentration is a very important thing. It always brings results. Concentration on nothing, for instance, will make you nothing. I concentrated my mind on Absolute for a while. So here it is. The formula of Absolute.

0>1=1>0, I think.

Boris Kislitsin

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Stamps: a memory containing dreams

Few years ago I lived in London. I lived rough, with no constant address or money. So I paid attention to what people there dump  in the street. I had an ancient leather sofa, and radio, and a sacvoyage, and an old laptop with broken screen. Those there my belongins. I found them all in the street. There were also mementos, like old photos and random weird objects I used to pick from places, abandon by owners but used by me.  I took care of their treasured memories. Reconstructing their meanings, I was exploring traces of human activities as a keen antropologist. One of them was a book with stamps. Our neighbors sold their house. On their way out they  simply dumped all house insides in boxes: books, CDs, toys, shoes, clothes, plates, hangers, tools, TVs, stereo, toasters, you name it. From all of those I took one thing: this book. I still remember it’s red worn out cover. It contained stamps from yearly 20’s to 50’s, and all from different countries. There were hundreds of them. There was a page for each country. Many of them do not exist now. Stamps were beautiful. Exotic monochromic patterns of their surfaces were my treasures. Each one had a story to tell. I could spend hours turning the pages. I tried to imagine that friendly nicely aged neighbor of us in rim glasses as a kid. Were they from his childhood? Dumping stamps is like giving up dreams. Or burning books. Can’t imagine myself doing this. Anyway, this is how I put hold on somebody’s memories that time. The book was priceless. It proved to be true in a few years time, when I decided to sell one of the stamps in need for money. So, of course I went to Strand to visit Stenley&Gibbons. The number One specialist in the field. Established in 17… it was the midwife of the hobby. They could tell the real thing from the first glance. I made an appointment. A gentleman in old fashioned tweed suit took a massive magnifier. He flipped through my book. Then he said: I’ll give you a fiver for this. Which one? I started to flip through the same book in my mind. I already remembered them all by heart. Many had names. For the book. I couldn’t believe my ears. So I left. His words didn’t hurt me; money for me were an abstract value, art is the absolute one. I don’t know how it happened, but this magic book later disappeared. I moved in one house with it, and when I was packing things moving another time, it wasn’t there. I knew it was a treasure and contained dreams. I didn’t regret the loss though. I let it live a parallel life.

Boris Kislitsin

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