Conducting my research for a story I finally set my mind to write, I came across these 2 statements:
1) scientists believe human brain is likely to be most complex object nature created within the Solar system
2) the very probability of life, keeping in mind endless ifs of our mundane existence in the Universe is nothing short of miraculous, well below 0,00000000001%. (Let’s leave alone question how we can evaluate the probability of these events, especially when we discuss complex systems and probabilities on such a scale: the age of Universe is currently being estimated at 13.7 billion years +/-200 million years and size is as 3.56×1080 cubic meters).
Of course, downscaling the case, on the top where are some other probabilities, e.g. one chance in probably few hundred thousand my parents would meet and got married; assuming they were capable of conceiving me, my being is the result of the union of one of few million sperms with particular ovum out of a few hundreds, etc…
There are, of course, endless probabilities exist even now, as they do at any given moment: that Internet will be created, this memories-dreams bank of whatever called Memorycemetery will be set, that you will find out about it, and will read this post, and will think: what the heck?!
Now, putting it all together. The simple fact that I exist and can understand that by means of using the most complex object within Solar system is mind-blowing.
But, indeed extremely rare events are happening all the time, and probabilities also evolve with time as other events occur. For instance, the probability of me writing this post on my laptop was nil just few decades ago, as laptops didn’t exist. Few thousand years ago English language was not even present, but probable. 50 000 years ago I most probably would be not a human being, but straight walking primate. So our actions and memories and dreams continue creating new probabilities instantly. In a way our dreams brought us to the point there are we now.
So, what do we dream about? What do we do with this meager chance billions time slimmer when winning a jack pot in National lottery? Ask your friends or colleagues about it and I can guarantee 9 of 10 will give you a puzzled look. This question is some-that offensive. Wast majority of population do not dream, and can not afford this luxury. So to fill the void we are being dream-fed by TV and society. Dreams are stereotyped and mass producted nowadays: DreamHouse. DreamJob. DreamGirlfriend. Most of the population essentially picks up one of those microdreams from the ocean of probable ones.
In one of those probabilities I woke up at 3 o’clock in the morning. I couldn’t sleep again. Between other possibilities of what to do with time on my hands as long as I can’t sleep, I have chosen to write about this. My dream of not being a human being any longer. I’m honestly fed up actually of being bounded by physical laws and society perceptions. I am tired to stick to my chair in office and 10 square meters of personal space. I want to have it all; I want to have a dream of 13.7 billion years (keep the change) and 3.56×1080 cubic meters in size.
I want to be a pure light and traverse time and space endlessly.
I WANT TO BE FREE.
Boris Kislitsin
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