Once I had a weird dream. I guess I was 19 at the time. In this dream I am a bird, a pigeon. I see my girlfriend nearby me. She is naked: I can see her little breasts and her belly, and staff. She wears a tall fur hat on her head and long boots somehow. She looks at me, and I look at her. She smiles. She comes closer. Suddenly she steps on my right wing and starts to crash it violently with her heel, in a very brutal way. I’m in pain, I scream, but I can’t do anything. I still remember my another wing flapping on the ground as in agony, so little clouds of dust come up. She smiles, she enjoyes it, but her smile is kind of evil now.
When I woke up, my right arm was swollen and hurt. I hardly could move it. So I went to university, where we both studied. I remember meeting her on a way, in a long corridor winding around the building. It was winter, and she was wearing a fur hat, though of a different shape. I came closer, she looked very distant and cold. I didn’t have a chance to tell her something, as she was the first one to say: ” we are finished. I’m with another guy”. And she left without saying anything else, without turning back.
My heart was broke. She was my first love and first girlfriend, and the guy she was talking about was nearly 10 years older, and just retired from army forces. He was massive, stupid and ugly, with red spots covering all his face and neck. I was the one who introduced him to her, as I met him on few times before in a student’s film club.
I felt bad, very bad. And even worse: if he’d be cool, it wouldn’t hurt me that much. I guess it would be easier for me to understand. My hand was just fine in a couple of days after that. I never spoke to her afterwards again.
It is a strange dream, as in Russian, my first language, people say sometimes “son v ruku” (dream in hand) about dreams in which we can see events which will later become true. I never had “dreams in hand” since.
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