My relationship to memories is rather ambivalent. I don’t really have anything personal against them, although they allow themselves to penetrate my thoughts without invitation and having the irritating habit to be memories of the unpleasant sort for the most part. But for mischievous as they might be, I still accept them as a part of me and see myself at the same time as a product of them. It can’t be all that bad after all.
Like my friend Boris says: I wonder where 99% of my memories got dumped. The Black Holes of Memory Kingdom? And I wonder why the most vivid ones of the remaining 1% are memories that I would rather put in the beloved ‘recycling bin’.
Of course there are good ones too, but inevitably they seem utterly powerless and without any impact if compared to the actual moment of happiness. Just a gray shadow of what once was a glorious and kaleidoscopic moment in our lives.
A wise man once said (I don’t remember his name) that 99% of humanity is either trapped in the past, reviewing and reviewing past experiences, or entangled in hopes and worries about the future. Only 1% (if we are lucky) lives in the present, the NOW. sad but true…
So, at this point I must say that I am not really a ‘past’ person. I’m rather a ‘future’ kind of guy…often worried about what might happen and afraid to take important decisions. I rarely evoke past memories because I can’t really get any pleasure in recalling them.
but still…I have my share of memories…and the one I would like to share here is not only the most vivid and the most extraordinary of them all, but it happens to be also a happy memory, a memory of a moment that changed my life forever.
Continue reading ‘Memory Garden’
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So here my first post, a quote from Albert Einstein which I came across a while ago in a talk on Quantum physics and Buddhism
Dorjeduck
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. ” Albert Einstein
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I don’t usually remember my dreams. I wake up, and in few minutes they are gone. Or, much more often, I wake up and I don’t know if I have any. I’ve heard scientists were studying REM (rapid eyes movements) of a sleeping person; on average we dream every 14 minutes. Whatever the case, one dream I saw still stays in my mind very vivid. I guess I had it when I was 17 or 18 years old, a good while ago.
In this dream I walk the streets of the city. It’s probably an early morning, judging by light, and the streets are absolutely empty. I walk in the middle of the road, as there are no cars. Then there appear a stray cat, and a couple of dogs. They follow me. All the kind of animals appear from all the sidestreets and join the procession, birds circle in the sky above my head, some sit on my shoulders, hands and head. I walk. Soon there are many of us, and first people appear. They stand by the sides of the road and watch as we pass by. In a short while, there are crowds on pavements, watching me. It’s like in documentary about JFK: he just elected as a president and goes in an open car, and people greeting him and wave hands. The difference is: everything is silent and people hardly move and I walk surrounded by all sorts of animals, including a giraffe. Suddenly in this silence I can hear a whisper in the crowd: Here he comes! The hero came! I say then: No, I’m not. You have mistaken me for someone else. As soon as I say this words, everybody cries and yell, people jump on me and start beating me up, birds attack me from the sky, dogs bite and cats scratch…The crowd and animals are justing tearing me apart. Black out.
The next thing I remember I stay on the top of the highest mountain (I don’t know how I know it, but there’s no doubt about that 
). I stay like Jesus Christ’s statue over Rio de Janeiro, hands apart. I’m all covered in caked blood, and my clothes are shred to pieces. I don’t feel pain though, all I feel is a strong wind, which comforts me somehow. And this is it. The next thing I know is I’m wide awake on the floor nearby my bed.
abraxus
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I think that memories travel through our mind in loops, just like celestial bodies traverse the Universe. Probably I can even predict when some of them will return. Some, even as I write, are crossing the point of no return and are being sucked in black holes of my consciousness. They can not disappear: it is in contradiction with laws of physics and common sense. So there are most of my hours, days, weeks and years had gone? Why memory is so random?
Scientific data shows that Matter accounts only for 10% of the total mass of the known Universe. 90% is Dark Matter, “dark matter” in the direct sense, as we know nothing about It. I guess 99,99999999999999999999999999…% of my memory is also Dark Matter.
Only one memory is omnipresent: the everlasting memory of now.
Memories of my past just cycle in my mind in orbits and change their traectories attracted by owerhelming gravity pool of our imagination. Imagination as a factor of chaos creates.
For a change, let’s see memory loops in the different perspective. Loop memories.
Memory loop 1. (Rain loop) Continue reading ‘Memory dark matters and loops’
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